Welcome Weary Traveller
Posted at 10:20 AM

If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it.
If you are here for vexation, may your ire rise and your blood boil.
If you seek an adventure, may my stories lull you away to blissful escape.
If you need to try or confirm your beliefs, may you reach comfortable conclusions.
All entries reveal perfection, by what they are, or what they are not.
May you find that which you seek, in these pages, or outside them.
May you find perfection, and know it by name.

Join me as I battle my nemesis, melancholy with my philosophies and unaltered passions. I still have much creativity and inspiration to share, and I hope my words, my nightmares, and my ephemeral illusions will allow you to relate. Perhaps something will linger with you ... even if it's just briefly.

And so, let’s hear you rant & rave. Know me better, visit 100 Oceans, make a comment, or email me at darkwinter@immortal.com.
I would love to hear your lurid sighs of pleasure, your lucid whimpers, your resonating screams of ire and or vexation, your subtle gasp of content. Let me hear you, or better yet, don’t let me hear you. Let me see for myself in your eyes, your own experiences of love, anger, folly, and bliss.

Until then…

Reality Check
Posted at 11:14 PM

Did I really bolt myself from getting the opportunities I deserve?
I was never the one to settle for mediocre choices, but here I am... settling.
Part of me admonish I've lost a support system;
being left in this dismal, sinking ship.
Yet, I did not jump. I kept it afloat. I kept it from ebbing down the unfathomable unknown.
But for all the loyalty and hard work... I am left alone.
No one chose to care.
No one chose to stay.
For who would choose from lousy options?
Only someone as oblivious as me.
sigh
I've too many wants.
But when time defines a fine line between needing and wanting,
one questions oneself, "Was I set to fail at the onset?"
And watching that face change to prejudice only embeds the dagger even deeper.
You will always have unrealistic expectations,
and you will always expect your puppets to dance despite audience leaving the theater one by one.
I wonder how this tragedy ends?

Birthday Girl
Posted at 10:03 AM

Yesterday, my sister called me to ask me to send a birthday message to my mother through her secretary's email address. They were going to show it through the projector in a program they've prepared for today.



I sent this:



As a mother of a witty 5 year old, every day is new and exciting because my daughter learns and does something new that makes me think my life is only just beginning. Today she said, “Mom, you’re the best,” to which I replied “Thank you.” She then went on and said, “You’re number one.” I felt my heart swell but felt a little melancholy. Too many times I’ve saved the good stuff for tomorrow, only to find out it was yesterday. I just wanted to tell you mom, “You are the best.” And illuminated in how Alex feels towards her own, “You are number one.”

It wasn’t the big events of our lives that bonded us together. It was the simple tenderness only a mom can show that nourished and enriched our relationship. I don’t know how you knew when we needed you but you always did. You picked me up from the floor more times than I could count. But I now know the truth is, no matter how old you are or what you’ve accomplished in your life, you never stop wanting your mom.

The only comfort I found in returning to work when I was still in the old house, was knowing you were with Alex. That, and the daily photograph of the two of you, you have developed every week and display in the little corners of your office and show your colleagues and co-workers you treat like family. Even my daughter knows “Kuya Ading” and “Mang Gil.” Hahaha! I love you for being mother to us all. Even the plants that you grew so tenderly in our garden and your school seem to agree with me. We are rich for having you in our lives.

I wish you long life, content and more happiness. Happy Birthday. I love you, Mom!



Always,

Maricris



If I never said it enough, "Thank you, I'm sorry and I love you."

Stillness Is The Move
Posted at 09:04 AM

there have been myriad steps
yet each one seems lighter
or maybe the road is just getting softer
or the wind's getting stronger
that I've begun to float and transcend
and not notice that the world has become
an odd little ball i'm rolling over
and over and over until
i'm way over myself
and way above the platitudes
that i only see stars and peace
and silence and tomorrow

A Father's Love
Posted at 12:33 AM

Found this in the internet and found myself saying, "So true." Pre-posting from my Facebook Account.

In lieu of Father's Day and to the best Dads I know...

Fathers seldom say "I love you"
Though the feeling's always there,
But somehow those three little words
Are the hardest ones to share.

And fathers say "I love you"
In ways that words can't match -
With tender bedtime stories -
Or a friendly game of catch!

You can see the words "I love you"
In a father's boyish eyes
When he runs home, all excited,
With a poorly wrapped surprise.

A father says "I love you"
With his strong helping hands -
With a smile when you're in trouble
With the way he understands.

He says "I love you" haltingly,
With awkward tenderness -
(It's hard to help a four-year-old into a party dress!)

He speaks his love unselfishly
By giving all he can
To make some secret dream come true,
Or follow through a plan.

A father's seldom-spoken love
Sounds clearly through the years -
Sometimes in peals of laughter,
Sometimes through happy tears.

Perhaps they have to speak their love
In a fashion all their own.
Because the love that fathers feel
Is too big for words alone!

~ Author Unknown ~

Dear Friend,
Tagged you even if you're not a Dad because like mine, yours don't have Facebook.

Posted at 02:51 PM

needing someone to neutrallize me coz' that's what all i've been doing for the longest time.
do something nice, like a really big gesture, so i can still hope.
sometimes i think about the possibility of what if? but all i do is contemplate on waiting for a visitor who's never gonna knock on my door.

curve a smile to make it all go away. no?
on with my misery then...

Currently listening to: Moby

SINE SOLE SILEO
Posted at 01:09 AM

Your words is the sky, and your smile is the painted sun that bursts through every beautiful dawn. You illuminate my senses and ignite my mind with the splendor of your life until I am left wanting. Happy Anniversary, dear Apollo!

Nina
Posted at 05:58 AM

I'm so glad Nina's back! I'm blessed to have friends like her. At least I don't have to think too much. Now we can talk about work and its inanities again instead of me delving on my sorry self.

Boks and I were talking earlier. We aim to be a hundred oceans but all we are, are little ponds in the middle -- the only ripple we witness are the ones when someone falls in.

 

Posted at 04:01 AM

 

6 years would not have made me blase'... tomorrow, i'll write.