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Entries for December, 2004December 2, 2004Posted at 04:24 AM Lalarin mood. I'm on the outside looking in What do I see so much of this left to begin Where would I be I'm on the outside looking in Cover me through this night I guess I don't know what's left to say Hear me out All of the dreams of yesterday keep breaking me down What's on the outside can you say? Am I getting carried away Chorus It's in your mind It's in your eyes So it's goodbye again It's way past time for one last try So it's goodbye again Goodbye again... I'm getting on what's the use? You know how I get I can't decide which is the truth at least not yet I got the feeling that it's you what can be said alone in this room? And now... Chorus Who wants you now? Maybe somebody else I'll wait around Maybe you'll forget you were never here Maybe forget you were never, never, here... I'm on the outside looking down What do I see? So much of this cold in the ground Where would I be? I'm on the outside looking down Cover me before you go... You're falling out I'm falling in so it's goodbye again It's way past time for one last try so it's goodbye....  December 3, 2004
Sulk
Posted at 06:48 AM "I hope I never become so used to the world that it no longer seems wonderful." --Ashleigh Brilliant An interesting quote I got from twentysomething's blog. I need peace! Pasko na and i still feel like shit! December 7, 2004
Thoughts
Posted at 01:39 AM  The clan's ears have been bombarded by songs from Dishwalla all day. Boredom was my new friend and so all I could do was listen to music and reminisce. No sleep for this fair maiden. Every moving color, every intricate detail seemed to move me with renewed beauty. "I'm alive again," I secretly uttered. Content was in the air. And so, I flew. And I remember asking my dear readers, "why do we cry"? During my time of distraught, I asked the fleeting question. Waking moments during ungodly hours of the night, full of reveries -- fear, melancholy and then misery. I thought of forgetting. I thought of digging up a hole and burying the desparity that left this soul scarred and calloused like a wearry wench. But despair is never without glee when there is acceptance. And so I taught myself to accept. Numbness at first but everything started to fall into place after much hardship. At the moment, let me re-iterate the question. What makes us smile? When we smile, do we not fear that it will only last for a few milliseconds before it disappears into oblivion, forgotten, and never mentioned again? Do we smile because it's for free, knowing that everything in this world costs something? I'm such a fool. I'm such a fool. In this little world, there will always be rich and poor. Rich in gifts. Poor in gifts. Rich in love. Poor in love. Always something to envy our neighbors about. Always something there to appropriate. And it's never enough. Sigh! Maybe this is not for me. Maybe love is not for me. I'm too afraid. I know that I should not torment myself with such cruel contemplations. But this is me. This is human. * Hah! I started sketching again... Dishwalla's Somewhere In The Middle December 7, 2004
Ripples
Posted at 11:05 PM  And there was light. Mom and I started talking earlier this morning. It's been a long time since mother and child shared views, laughed about childish plink-ploinks and exchanged embraces when it came to serious meandrings with life. Daughter was toiling with her obsessions while mother was buried in work. Ephemeral waves and nods during chance encounters but only a smile could break the ice. Having a mom is such a blessing. The rift has finally been sewn. The bond was never lost. Life opened the door and chance bid me to enter. There are so many things I have to pick up on. Time is not lost. And I am hoping that every cruel heartache would soon subside to the shore, erasing any footprints that may have marred the soul of two individuals, once in love (or still in love). Forgiveness is always the key, and this has brought me into a greater illumination of the truth. Trust is such a sparing word. Anger will always stoke the fire. But love will always be love. I will never forget you. Dashboard Confessional's Vindicated December 21, 2004
Clouds
Posted at 07:39 AM The sun was rising. Cobalt cumuli was starting to turn white, clasping the face of the deep blue bowl with its feathery wisps. Morning drives are always relaxing. We were on our way home from Whistlestop, Jupiter. We just had our Christmas party in Shangrila, Makati. Had a wonderful time and had a magic moment even if it were just for a brief second. Ephemeral smiles are always the most enchanting. "Five days till Christmas," I silently uttered. A sigh, an emotional smile, and a hopeful outlook. Archie pulled over and we said goodbye to Myls before dropping her off in Novaliches. This place will always be special. The crisp morning air was beginning to get to me and I could feel myself being mollified to sleep, Morpheus tugging at my sleeve. "Sa uulitin, chong!" "Sa uulitin, chang!" Friendships are precious. I began threading through the thin fog, thanking Him I am not entirely alone in this world. I am wealthy because of my friends. *Blank Stare* December 23, 2004
Come Around
Posted at 01:29 AM Come Around Rhett Miller I'm dressed all in blue and I'm remembering you And the dress you wore when you broke my heart I'm depressed upstairs and I'm remembering where And when and how and why'd you have to go so far Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Unless you come around so come around I'm dressed all in white and I remember the night You came on to me and opened up my heart I was hollow then till you filled me in now I'm empty again I should have never let it start Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Unless you come around so come around No one else can fix me although sometimes my heart tricks me Into thinking someone else will do But you're the only one you are the only one Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Am I gonna be lonely for the rest of my life I'm gonna be lonely for the rest of my life Unless you come around so come around So come around so come around I'm dressed all in blue and I'm remembering you And the dress you wore when you broke my heart As the year ends, I pause to reminisce about the things that made me smile this year... That Trip To Quezon Winning A Pageant Filing my Leave of Absence from Med School.... ....To Start A Career In PS Dianne's Birthday  2004 PS Sportsfest  Aftershifts  Road Trips With My Girl Friends  Grilla Celebrations  Unplanned Moviethons in Greenbelt  That Dream Theater Scenes From A Memory DVD Jacob Sold Me 4 90 bucks! Extra Rackets  Gambas and Pasta 2004 PS Christmas Party  Christmas Day 26th of December Old Friends  New Friends  Thank You! January 1, 2005
Birth
Posted at 04:58 AM New year. New start. Birth for planned endeavors. This seems to be a happy start. No, it is a happy start for me. Most anticipated words from one of the most special people in my life. Thank you. You made me smile again. The office was full of commotion at the stroke of midnight. Parokya ni Edgar was booming from outside. Ayala is such a small place but it looked vast beyond its capacity when I went down to take my break. Hahaha! And there I was yesterday, cursing because they closed Ayala and Paseo to make room for the New Year Street Concert. Silly me! Everyone was in "huggy-state". I'm glad I spent New Year in the office. At least I wasn't left bored watching fireworks being lit from our neighbor's place. That would only make me feel pathetic. Not! Why am i still tapping at these keys? Masaya kasi ako. Sana...sana... Have a cocky New Year Y'all! |
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