Why I Hold Back
Posted at 02:51 AM

Why I must hold back...

I think I'll just wait for the information to be given voluntarily, no? As much as I want to ask, as much as I want to know, the best thing to do would be to draw upon my very limited vat of patience and simply wait. One cannot demand to know things, just because. A reason must support the demand, just as a reason must support a request. I have no reason, though. I just want.

Knowing would serve me no purpose, knowing would give me nothing, and yet I still want to know. For the sake of knowing. For the sake of the knowledge being available to me, should the time come when it could be useful. Or needed. For the sake of knowing that I could be entrusted with information as personal as it is. It's not even personal, really. It's just not something you tell every person that you meet. But it's something you tell people you cherish, people you adore, people you want to be with you. It's something you tell your friends, your family, your loved ones. And, I guess, I want to be one of those. Though I've been told that I am, I really don't feel it until I'm privy to information available only to that select few. And in this case, that particular piece of information that I'm focused on, I don't have.

I could just take the words as they're given, and accept them as the absolute truth. I could take them with a grain of salt, and reserve a little bit of myself in case they don't hold true. But the best would be to hear them, and know that they're true each and every time, because you feel it, you see it, and in essence, you know it. I don't want to hold back. I want to give in, every particle of my being. But until that final step has been taken, at this particular phase where we stand, I'm afraid I can't. I will accept it, I will cherish it, I will be it.. but I can't surrender everything to it.

What, you ask my dear readers, is this piece of information that I wish to entreaty myself? What, you query, is this final step that I await to be taken? Ah... not something I can share with you, I'm afraid. Among you is the bearer of the aforementioned piece of privileged information, and should I say what it is, I might be looked upon as forcing the hand of the bearer to impart it unto me. I want it to be done willingly, because I am believed to be worthy of the knowledge, and not because I let the world and sundry know that I wanted to know as well.

A major step has been taken this day, dear readers. A step forward where most steps taken are towards the rear. Life was faced, truth was accepted, and secrets were shared with the concerned parties of the world. True, some things are best unsaid, but some secrets are best revealed. This latest revelation brought not chaos unto the world, but peace of mind and an unburdening of the packhorse that is the soul. Times have been difficult and filled with trials, but we worked through it. And we shall work through what other hurdles come our way. Love may not keep us alive, but it gives us reason to want to keep on going. It truly does make life worth living... And we'll journey towards that life where we can build a world together.