Take Me Away

I need to go back into the darkness now; where silence is not an option, where the horizon is soiled with questions and answers, too bleak to decipher -- where disdain ends and hope begins. Slowly, threading towards the unknown with but the clothes on my back and the whispered urgings of the wind, I tried to revisit "that moment". Whispering muffled yearnings, craving like a woman
stretched open on the brink of orgasm.

A whimper.

A shard of glass burst into a million splinters.

Always, the answers lie beyond, where we can only gaze as far as our eyes could take us -- to where the sun touches the earth; but never to where those two places are, distinctively. Always, we try to clamor, hold fast to that which we hold dear (things that we cherish, for it's the only treasure we know); but suffer to our demise, for we can only arrive at a thought as far as our mind can reach. Always our ears are locked in battle; trying to mute what is real because we only want to hear lies that have always been pleasing, always been kind to us, always been empathic to our cause. Lies, sparer of the heart and bruised ego, and weary spirit. Our senses deceive us, but no matter. We are one with our dreams built on melancholy and defeat -- we are lucid and drunk with despair.

My mind remembers that distinctive scent. The aroma of love lost and the thought of "what if". IÂ’ve been to hell and back on the most objectively benign course, and upon return and convalescence, the regret for not sending postcards tugs at me daily.

ItÂ’s never enough, the happiness or the ache, always one or the other beckons, pulling me offstage and out of the blinding spotlight. Happiness forgets to be objective. It leaves me confused as to whether happiness is feeling satiety or feeling a smile curve on my face. Which is which? A fullness felt along with torment and demise or the latter which is fleeting and intangible?

I need to go back into the darkness again, because thatÂ’s where it all makes sense, wanting and waiting and the craving for "almost-is". I need to go back because thatÂ’s where you are, and where you are is where I find myself.

I want to make sense again, sense of this, sense of me. I want to miss that thing that IÂ’ll never have, because wanting brings life back. Almost being what I almost was, I have to go back to be whole.

Take me away.


This time what I want is you
There is no one else
Who can take your place
This time you burn me with your eyes
You see past all the lies
You take it all away
I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

(chorus)
Take me away
Take me away
I've got nothing left to say
Just take me away

I try to make my way to you
But still I feel so lost
I don't know what else I can do
Cause I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

(Repeat chorus)

Don't give up on me yet
Don't forget who I am
I know I'm not there yet
But don't let me stay here alone

I've seen it all
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you
I've seen enough
And it's never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you

(Repeat chorus)
Take me away
Take me away

Book of the Moment: (Still) Blood Canticle by Anne Rice
Music of the Moment: Take Me Away by Life House